I wrote this post way back in 2013. The substance of it is not changed. What is, perhaps, changed, is a sense of guilt and sadness at not following through, and a sense of hope that the Holy Spirit is leading me to become more like Jesus, in spite of myself. Regardless, read on:
I don’t really like fasting. Its irritating, impacts on my life, and means I can’t enjoy some of the things I like all of the time.
I really like food. Good food, bad food, free food, all the food. Its not, I don’t think, an idol, but I really like eating it. And drinking things. Especially really nice whisky, which I can’t really afford. But when I have some, when I’m given some, when I can scraaape together the pennies for another malt, its great. And sometimes I have to fast the things I like, for the sake of my relationship with Jesus.
For me, though, recently, it was the opposite of fasting that really demonstrated my need to re-engage with fasting, and think again about my attitude to food, drink, and Jesus.
On New Years Eve, a friend (Who was coming with his family to celebrate with mine) texted me asking my favourite whisky. I duly responded, and he brought a bottle to the party. I sipped it with him, watching some comedy at about 4am, and really enjoyed sharing his whisky.
The following day he got on a train, having said good bye. He left the whisky behind. I was confused! But I texted him, thinking (given that we only live an hour away from each other) that we could easily sort this out.
His response was pure grace.
Its yours, enjoy it.
So, actually, as I write it, I’m sipping a wee drop of it, and reflecting on the kindness of my friend.
A kindness that echoes the kindness of God, a kindness both he and I are enjoying.
A kindness that will echo through eternity.
And so, as a response, sort of and carefully, I want to learn to fast again. Of the whisky I now have through someone elses kindness. For the sake of reconnecting with the kindness of our King. It won’t be easy, it might be frustrating, it will be awkward sometimes. But I think its worth it. Its a tiny part of my response to his kindness.
And next year, I’m getting him a bottle. Not Jesus, my friend. And hopefully we can share it as we share stories of what God has done in 2013.